Pray for the s.o.b.!
When some hurting person approaches an A.A. sponsor or friend to complain of being victimized or to moan that he cannot get rid of a resentment because he feels "unable to forgive," the usual advice, judiciously offered, runs: "Well, I'd say pray for the son of a bitch!"
And astounding as it may sound to the outsider, it works! Time after time at meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, experiences of forgiveness are detailed in just such stories. "I just couldn't forgive the *&%#, but my sponsor said 'Pray for the s.o.b.,' and I did, and would you believe it, one day I realized that I no longer felt resentful . . . somehow, the whole thing just didn't bother me anymore!"